TONITES RAW REPORT

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TONITES RAW REPORT

Post by sean on Tue May 06, 2008 6:47 am

Last week, the WWE set up a pre-emptive strike on their trip to Canada, otherwise known as BizarroLand with three shows that had to have many of their regular viewers shaking their heads or wondering if Vince Russo was back. We saw one show abruptly end, one show's commentary abruptly end, and one show's champion's reign abruptly end. Now that we are in Canada it is time to celebrate a special anniversary. I am not talking about the 'holiday' when people drink cheap Corona and Tequila. I am talking about the anniversary shows that Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling used to run. So raise your swords high in the air and wait for the clock to run out before the explosives attached to the steel cage are set off because it is time for Raw (which is War spelled backwards). Will Ken Kennedy continue to torment William Regal? What is next for Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho after last week’s Highlight Reel? What about Santino and Roddy Piper?
We start off tonight’s show with a look back at the Royal coronation of William Regal and Ken Kennedy’s interruption. We then see Regal pull the plug on the main event.

We are live from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and your announcers are Jim 'We are going to need a bigger boat to get to the ring' Ross and Jerry 'Is Trish Stratus going to be here tonight' Lawler.

Vince McMahon is in the arena and he says that last week no man has ever done what William Regal did last week. That was pull the plug in the middle of a championship match. Many protested by complaining to the WWE and demanded that Vince appear tonight. McMahon says that he found Regal’s action devoid of any interest in the fans. McMahon finds them innovative and daring as well as visionary. McMahon says that William Regal reminds Vince of himself. Vince says that he supports and endorses Regal as the King and General Manager. Vince demands that the fans show Regal the same respect that the fans give to Vince.

Lillian Garcia is in the ring and she introduces the General King Manager of the Raw WWE William Regal. Regal gets on the mic and he says that you might not like him, but you will respect him. Regal asks the fans if he has their respect. Regal says that he is prepared to turn out the lights at his discretion. Regal tells them to turn off the lights. Regal turns the lights back on and he says that the show will continue but the fans might not see it. Regal says that he is ready to have this entire show in eternal darkness because he will not be disrespected . . .

Ken Kennedy’s music plays and he comes out to the ring. Kennedy says that if Regal wants respect so much then all he has to do is take Kennedy up on his offer and go one-on-one with him in the ring tonight. Regal says that it is a dreadful shame when people don’t know their place. Regal points out that he is Kennedy’s superior and Kennedy asks Regal to prove it. Regal says that Kennedy is in the main event and he will be facing the ECW Champion Kane, as well as the WWE Tag Team Champions John Morrison and the Miz, as well as the Money in the Bank Winner CM Punk, plus Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely. Oh heck, Kennedy will be facing the entire ECW roster. Regal says that he has agreed to promote the 100th episode of ECW. Regal says that he will not be disrespected by any one man.

Time for the Game to come out as Triple H joins Regal and Kennedy in the ring. Hunter apologizes for the intrusion. Unlike Mr. Kennedy Kennedy, he means Regal no disrespect. He wants to congratulate Regal on his new power, as well as give him some advice. If Regal wants to stay in that position, he needs to not make mistakes. Take for example last week. Regal turned the lights out on his match. Hunter says that was a mistake. Then after the show went off the air, Regal came out and ended the match. Regal has disrespected Hunter, and that is a mistake. Hunter tells William Regal that if he wants to maintain his position, you do not want to go to war with him. Regal says that he does not want to do that because he is too busy with his Steel Cage Match at Judgment Day. Hunter has been added to the main event as Ken Kennedy’s tag team partner.

We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Beth Phoenix versus Mickie James in a Lumberjack Match for the WWE Women’s Title
Beth backs Mickie into the corner on the collar and elbow tie up and Beth with a clean break. They lock up again and Beth tosses Mickie to the mat. Mickie with a waist lock and she tries for a rollup but Beth holds on to the ropes. Beth with a shoulder tackle and a near fall. Beth throws Mickie out on the heel side and it is time to pound on Mickie until the face lumberjacks stop things. Beth gets a near fall when Mickie returns to the ring. Mickie with forearms but Beth with a knee. Beth tries for a hip toss but Mickie blocks it. Mickie hits a neck breaker for a near fall. Mickie with a kick but someone tries to trip Mickie and Mickie goes outside. There is pandemonium outside the ring but Beth gets a near fall as we go to commercial.

We are back and Beth is in control of the match as Beth works on Mickie’s back. Mickie gets to her feet but Beth with knees to the ribs to get Mickie back on the mat. Beth with a double arm submission but Mickie gets to her feet again and she drops down and kicks Beth. Beth misses an elbow drop and Mickie tries for a sunset flip but Beth picks up Mickie. Mickie with a drop kick. Beth responds with a forearm. Mickie with a forearm and kicks to Beth. Mickie with more forearms followed by a series of kicks. Beth throws Mickie to the apron but she stays on the apron. Some of the lumberjacks try to stop Mickie from climbing to the top. Mickie with a Thesz Press for a near fall. Beth chokes Mickie but Mickie with a kick to the back followed by an enzuigiri that sends Beth to the floor. It is time for more Lumberjack fighting. Maria is pulled into the ring by Beth. While all of this is going on, Melina tries to hit Mickie with her boot but she hits Beth instead. Mickie takes care of Melina and then gets the three count with an inside cradle.
Winner: Mickie James

William Regal is in his office and Chris Jericho enters. Regal points out that Chris Jericho suggests that Shawn Michaels is feigning a knee injury. Jericho says that he knows Michaels is faking it. Regal tells Jericho that he will be teaming with Shawn Michaels to face John Morrison and the Miz. Regal tells Jericho that if Michaels is okay, then he has nothing to worry about. We go to commercial.

We are back and Trevor Murdoch is singing again and this time he is singing for the make up girl. Trevor turns around and Trish Stratus is there. Ron Simmons walks by and stops to let his shirt do the DAMN talking.

Jerry is happy to see Trish at Raw and Jim Ross mentions that Ron Simmons was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame.

Todd Grisham is with Randy Orton in the locker room. Todd wants Randy’s reaction to what William Regal did to their match. Randy says that Hunter would make everyone think that he was winning the match. Orton says that he might disagree with Regal’s decision, but Regal is the man in charge. Orton says that CM Punk will see the harsh reality of what happens if Punk decides to cash in his Money in the Bank when he gets his title back. In two weeks, the Age of Orton resumes.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Paul Burchill and Katie Lea versus John Cutler


William Regal comes out and says that he wants Jim Ross’s microphone turned off so a man who has also been disrespected can come out and announce this match. That man is Mike Adamle. Mike joins Lawler at the announce table and Jim takes a seat nearby.

The match begins and Katie pushes Cutler. Burchill attacks Cutler and he connects with a series of forearms. Cutler tries for a sunset flip but Lea holds Burchill up. Burchill with a knee drop and Lea with a kick. Burchill chokes Cutler in the ropes and then Lea with a kick. Burchill with a reverse chin lock and Lea taunts Cutler and then she kicks Cutler in the midsection. Burchill slams Cutler’s head into the turnbuckles. Burchill with an Irish whip and then he sends Lea into the corner. Burchill misses a charge into the corner and then Cutler with a shoulder tackle on Lea. Burchill with a series of kicks to the chest. Burchill puts Cutler in a bow and arrow and Lea with a double stomp to the chest. Burchill stands over Cutler as he waits for the curb stomp and the three count from Lea.
Winners: Katie Lea and Paul Burchill

Mike Adamle leaves and Jerry Lawler says that he will not criticize Adamle because the line is too long.

Shawn Michaels is in the locker room and he shows his knee brace. Jericho tells Shawn that he is going to start the match, but if he wants Michaels in the match, he better be out there. Shawn says that he really is hurt and then Jericho tells him that he better be there. We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Shawn Michaels beating Batista after injuring one of his knees at Backlash. We then see Batista’s threat to Shawn Michaels.

Match Number Three: John ‘Slow Mo’ Morrison and The Miz versus Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho
Jericho starts off with the Miz and Jericho with a waist lock but Miz with a standing switch. Jericho with a standing switch of his own. Miz with a kick but Jericho with a running back elbow and a suplex. Jericho with forearms followed by a drop kick. Morrison tags in and Jericho with a hip toss into a near fall. Jericho misses a charge into the corner and Morrison with a kick to the midsection. Morrison with a sunset flip but Jericho rolls through and tries for the Walls but Jericho with a springboard drop kick to Miz on the apron. Morrison with a springboard round kick to Jericho followed by punches. Miz tags in and they hit a double gut buster. Miz with a rear chin lock but Jericho with elbows to get out of the hold. Miz with the clothesline in the corner to stop Jericho’s attempt to get out of the corner. Morrison tags back in and connects with European uppercuts. Jericho with a kick and he tries for the tag but Morrison catches Jericho and runs him into the corner. Morrison with an Irish whip but Jericho with a boot to the charging Morrison followed by the bulldog. Jericho puts Miz in the Walls of Jericho but Morrison with a kick to the back of Jericho’s head. Morrison knocks Michaels down and Morrison sets for his flip neck breaker but Michaels with Sweet Chin Music. Jericho hits a Lionsault for the three count.
Winners: Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels

After the match, Michaels limps back up the ramp and Jericho looks confused.

We go to commercial. Did you know that there is a fourteen on two match? I wonder who will win.

HHHHHHHHHEY, we are back and it is time for our next match.

Match Number Four: Randy Orton versus CM Punk
They lock up and Orton with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Orton and Punk stare each other down and then they lock up again and Orton with another side head lock and shoulder tackle. Punk with a series of kicks and then he clotheslines Orton over the top rope to the floor. Punk sets for a pescado but Punk changes his flight pattern when Orton moves. Punk lands on the apron but Orton pulls Punk off the apron. They return to the ring and Orton with a near fall. Orton with the Garvin Stomp but he misses the knee drop. Punk with more kicks but Punk misses a springboard cross body and Orton with a near fall. Orton goes to the reverse chin lock. Punk gets out of the hold and connects with two kicks and the running knee into the corner followed by a bulldog. Punk gets a two count. Punk with a jumping leg lariat.

William Regal comes out and he says that because of the lack of respect for his authority, he will be turning off the lights and he ends the match.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Todd Grisham stops Orton as he walks in the back. Orton wants to know what is going on because he had no problem with what Regal did last week. He is going to confront Regal right now.

It is time for Carlito’s Cabana (which is Piper’s Pit spelled backwards). Carlito says that something happened last week involving a future tag team champion and a Hall of Famer that was not cool. We see Roddy Piper and Santino Marella with the slap heard round the backstage area.

Carlito says that it is time to clear the air with his guest Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper comes to the ring. Carlito welcomes Piper to the Cabana. Carlito says that he knows how annoying Santino can be, but Piper took it too far. Piper tells Buckwheat that his whole life has been about taking it too far. If he was a normal guy, he might have taken exception to the insult. Someone might have turned the other cheek. Someone might have insulted him back. Piper says that he beat Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, and cancer. He is sorry if he does not have time to play nice nice to the Super Mario Brother. He apologizes for not taking time to sit here because his name is not Dr. Phil. He is Roddy Piper and he did it his way. That is with a slap. Carlito says that the guy Piper slapped is his tag team partner and future tag team champion. Carlito says that he would have slapped Piper if he was there last week. Piper says that Carlito is lucky that he did not bring a seagull.

Santino’s music plays and he comes out to the ring. Santino tells Carlito that he does not have to lay a hand on Piper because Piper is all his. Santino tells Rodney the Piper that he comes out and says that he is so tough and that he did it his way. Santino says that it took Piper eight years to become Intercontinental Champion while he did it his first night in the company. Santino says that him and Carlito are soon going to be tag team champions. Piper tells Santino that he needs to get a designated driver.

Cody Rhodes’s music plays and he comes out with a mic. Rhodes says that this is not how to treat a legend. He suggests that nobody gets hurt. Carlito says that they know that Cody’s boyfriend Hardcore Holly is not here so he should not want to get involved. Cody says that he knows two people who want to meet the Hot Rod. Cryme Tyme come out and they join Rhodes as they come to the ring. Carlito and Santino leave the ring.

Shad gets on the mic and he calls Santino and Carlito two chumps. It is not about money money, but it is about Rowdy Rowdy. Piper starts to ‘dance’ in the ring.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to run through the card for Judgment Day.

Bradshaw is standing by the JBLimo and he says that nobody can understand what it is like to be him and be the CEO of his own company. It is time to take a ride with Bradshaw inside the JBLimo. We ride into the arena in the JBLimo. Bradshaw says that he always has to be connected. Bradshaw tells Cena that at Judgment Day, he says that it will not be an opulent car ride, but a 120 mile per hour car crash. It is time for a preview of Judgment Day.

Bradshaw says that if he cannot beat John Cena, at least he gets to beat up a Canadian. He points out that the Hart Foundation is dead. Bradshaw tells D.H. that his daddy can’t help him. Bret Hart can’t help him now. Bradshaw says that God can’t even help him.

Match Number Five: Bradshaw with JBLimo versus D.H. Smith
Bradshaw with knees and a boot to the head. Bradshaw with a big boot followed by a kick to the back. Bradshaw with punches. Bradshaw with a series of clotheslines followed by a kick to the back and the Clothesline from Wall Street for the three count.
Winner: Bradshaw
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Re: TONITES RAW REPORT

Post by sean on Tue May 06, 2008 6:47 am

After the match, Bradshaw slaps and punches Smith. Bradshaw adds some kicks to the punishment before returning to punches. Out to make the save is . . .

The rest of the Raw brand referees. We go to commercial.

We are back and William Regal is with ECW. He tells everyone to put their silly squabbles and petty differences behind them because they get to do something before their 100th episode. They will get to have a definitive victory over WWE Champion Triple Haitch and Kennedy. Regal also says that they will get to show Kennedy and Triple Haitch not to disrespect him. Regal says that he will not turn off the lights. They leave the locker room and head towards the ring. Kane and Regal stare each other down for a few seconds.

Jim Ross talks about the abuse of power by William Regal, but Jerry Lawler talks about the abuse of power by Vickie Guerrero on Smackdown. Time for a Smackdown Rebound showing a history of the choke hold that happens when you try to get a rollup or sunset flip on Undertaker. We see the Undertaker stripped of his title, but first we see Great Khali fall victim to the Bloody Shin Choke.

The ECW roster comes to the ring for their match and we go to commercial.

Match Number Seven: ECW (Tommy Dreamer, Bam ‘Big Bubba Roadkill’ Neely, John Morrison, The Miz, Chavo Guerrero, CM Punk, Elijah Burke, Mike Knox, Nunzio, Stevie Richards, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin, and Matt Striker, and Kane) versus Ken Kennedy and Triple Haitch with GameFountain
Burke starts things off for ECW against Kennedy. They lock up and Burke with a knee and side head lock. Burke with a shoulder tackle. Burke tries for a hip toss but Kennedy with a short arm clothesline. Kennedy with a front face lock and Hunter is tagged in. Hunter works on Burke’s arm but Burke with a thumb to the eye and Matt Striker tags in and he punches Hunter. Hunter with the high knee to Striker followed by a punch. Kennedy tags back in and he kicks and punches Striker. Kennedy with kicks in the corner but Striker with a tag and he tags in Mike Knox. Knox with a punch, but Kennedy with punches and kicks. Knox with a clothesline and Chavo is tagged in. Chavo with a Saito suplex for a near fall. Kingston is tagged in and he gets a near fall. Kingston with a cravate and forearms to the neck. Tommy Dreamer is tagged in and he hits a suplex and elbow drop for a two count. Kingston is tagged back in and he puts Kennedy in a side head lock. Benjamin is tagged in and Kingston accidentally hits Benjamin and Benjamin goes after Kingston. Benjamin with knees and punches. Kennedy with a belly-to-back suplex but Nunzio is tagged in. Nunzio kicks Kennedy in the chest but Kennedy hits a fireman’s carry slam. Chavo is tagged in and he goes after Hunter, but Hunter punches Chavo. Hunter with punches to everyone who wishes to come into the ring. Hunter with a back body drop to Kingston that sends Kofi over the top rope to the floor. Hunter with a spinebuster to Richards. Hunter sets up for the Pedigree on Chavo but Benjamin with a super kick to Hunter. Kennedy throws Benjamin out of the ring. Kennedy gives Striker a Mic Check but Kane with a choke slam to Kennedy. Chavo goes up top but Kane grabs Chavo by the throat. Neely goes after Kane and they go to the floor. Chavo hits a frog splash on Kennedy for the three count.
Winners: ECW

After the match, Hunter punches Chavo and Knox. Knox attacks Hunter while the rest of the ECW roster go after each other. Now they decide to go after Hunter. Knox gets a chair and he brings it into the ring. Dreamer holds Hunter, but Hunter gets out of the way and he kicks Knox and takes the chair. Hunter hits Punk, Morrison Dreamer, Knox, and Nunzio with the chair.

The lights go out and when they go back on, Sabu . . . I mean Randy Orton appears in the ring and he gives Hunter an RKO.

We go to credits
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Re: TONITES RAW REPORT

Post by Guest on Tue May 06, 2008 7:18 am

raw sucked alot i bet 3.0 rating at the best

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Re: TONITES RAW REPORT

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